Ryan's birthday was on June 5, 2009. He would have turned 32. Knowing that the day would be hard, regardless of my location, I flew out to Chicago to spend the weekend away from home in attempt to create new memories. My friend Sharon suggested I float a flower on the shores of Lake Michigan.
Even buying the flower for the occasion was tough. A single, bright pink rose. I popped it off it's stem and cried while doing so. Thinking about how much I would give to have him here next to me - to be celebrating his birthday in person. How the past 9 months have whizzed by.
As the flower floated, it quickly made it's way into deeper waters. Growing more and more distant and bopping in and out of view. My face grew crusty with salty tears. Yet I felt better for having done something in his memory.
The pain has grown deeper. No longer coming in waves, it has settled in with a dull ache. Constantly reminding me of what I lost and making my gray hair multiply.
No comments:
Post a Comment