Just like Joan in the book titled, "The Year of Magical Thinking", I find that I've kept a lot of Ryan's things in hopes that he's coming back. After reading that she did the same actions - couldn't get rid of all of her husbands things - I find myself going through the closet again.

And I hit a ticking time bomb.

In his back pack, were the last things he touched. His socks, turned inside out and placed in his shoes. My Cane Creek socks from last season. His stinky feet smell long gone from then, evoked several tears. A poweraid bottle, partially sipped and collecting mold.

It won't bring him back. Keeping these things won't.

So slowly, ever so slowly, I'm going through them and dealing with their disposal.