In a sleepy haze, half way between dreaming and waking up, I had a dream of Ryan. I was in a water park, slip sliding down a water way. Getting up, going again. And then running into Orion as we were preparing to play soccer on a team called Team Go! And as we were at the officials stand, getting ready to register our team amongst a crowd of people, up walked Ryan. His features were vivid - as I last remember seeing him. A sense of he's been alive all this time washed over me. And then I embraced him. I couldn't smell him though - it was just a shell of his physical body.
I woke up and sobbed. Then I cried myself back to sleep.
As I relayed this dream to a friend, I started sobbing again. Not out of sadness, but more out of the beauty of letting someone touch you that much. I feel blessed to have known a love like that, sad that he's no longer here in the physical sense, but happy that I remember him when I do.
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